Dwight Howard to leave Orlando after record transfer to Manchester United

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It seems as if an unexpected turn has popped up in the never-ending Dwight Howard speculation (except Ric Bucher…he knew, and just hadn’t reported it yet, of course).

At a press conference held for a small media contingent early this morning, it was announced that Dwight Howard will be leaving the Orlando Magic and joining the Manchester United Football Club.

As the announcement was made by Magic CEO Bob Vander Weide, a stunned silence filled the room until the moment Dwight entered alongside Sir Alex Ferguson.   Sporting his usual superstar smile and his brand new Manchester United “kit”, Dwight began to speak for the first time to the still stunned crowd.

“With the lockout looming and my team in need of time to clear payroll, I have made the decision to accept a transfer from the Orlando Magic to Manchester United.  This was an easier decision than most of you might think, especially considering the copious amounts of money I will now be bathing in.  My goal for my entire career has been to win a championship and joining Man U gives me the best chance to do so.”

According to sources at the BBC, the transfer is rumored to be for $150M US dollars. That amount includes a minimum of two years of Dwight Howard’s service with a player option for a 3rd year.  Dwight would then be personally paid a yearly salary of $50M.

“I’ve seen LeBron James’ path and the difficulty he has faced in achieving a title.  My wish is to not only bypass that difficulty altogether, but to further crush LeBron’s legacy at the same time.” 

LeBron James recently became a partial owner of Man U’s bitter rival, Liverpool FC.  Manchester United is fresh off winning a record 19th Premier League title, while Liverpool remains stuck at 18. [Insert LeBron champion joke here].

Dwight then further added, “I see you LeBron… But I am going to one up you fa sho. Yuuaaaaaaaaa”. When asked to elaborate on the quote, Dwight stated again, “Yuaaaaaaaaaa” before quickly jettisoning from the room.

 To continue reading this post and to see what Dwight Howard has to say as he exits Orlando, click HERE.

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