It’s that time of week again! Magic Mailbag Mondays are here! You sent in questions, I answered them. This week, we talk about LeBron James, improvement, space travel, and Nicki Minaj lyrics. You know the deal. Let’s jump in!
1. What will the Magic have to do show progress in the rebuild this season?
Anyone would easily say playoffs, a .500 record, young players growing, all the cliche stuff, but not me. Not here on Magic Mailbag Mondays. Oh no. Let’s take a look at the Magic’s losses post-Dwight. 60 losses and then 59. So I’d say that my idea of improvement is less than 59 losses. 58 losses? Let’s pop bottles, Magic fans.
2. Will LeBron James take his talents to the Magic Kingdom?
If Magic Kingdom moved to not Orlando, sure. But no. LeBron’s not coming to Orlando. If he does, I will get a lower back tattoo of LeBron’s name in a heart.
3. Let’s say there’s a certain Jason Kidd who may or may not be unemployed, would you hire him in the Magic front office?
Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo Sports said that the Russians are done with Kidd, so I don’t know if he’ll be hired in any front office anywhere. Maybe for a team in the middle of Siberia though…
4. Where is #3Twaun Moore going?
I googled “Moore” and there is a crater on the moon called “Moore” so I think the Magic plan to just jettison E’Twaun Moore into space. I am working to confirm.
5. If Victor Oladipo played baseball, what position would he play?
Outfield. Easily. Long arms, hops, he’ll steal some home runs. And the hearts of many.
Frankly, I have no idea why the Magic would do this. The only conceivable reason I can think of is that Rob Hennigan turned too far up on draft night and drunk-dialed Stan Van Gundy. As a certain king of crunk said, turn down for what, Rob.
7. If the Magic are looking for a pass-first player, why don’t they just sign Lionel Messi?
Well the Magic got their pass-first player in the draft with Elfrid Payton. But I think Lionel Messi shoots a lot better though.
8. Why do bees torment baseball players and fans?
No clue. But luckily, in basketball, we don’t have that problem. Amway Center looks beautiful. But in baseball, it’s outdoors, so there could be beez in the tarp, beez beez in the tarp.
9. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
No idea, but I guarantee the Magic had more losses last year.
10. What’s the dream free agency rumor you want to happen? Doesn’t have to be realistic, just one that you would love to see.
Chandler Parsons. He’s available. And beautiful.
That’s the only reason. But that’s not important.
That does it for this week’s Magic Mailbag Mondays! Send in your questions to me on Twitter (@zac_cleary) or the blog’s account (@PrestoInPaint) and you might see your question in next week’s edition!